I am a failed evangelist.
23 years ago, this August
I started college
and I was almost immediately recruited
by Campus Crusade for Christ.
Having grown up
a King James Only fundamentalist,
being in a nondenominational movement
felt subversive,
like being a really specific unitarian.
My newfound community of faith
was such a radical departure
from my upbringing
that my home congregation
told me I wasn’t “qualified”
to be a member of their church.
It was the closest you can get
to being shunned
without being Amish.
Once those ties had been broken for me,
I embraced evangelicalism.
I went through numerous trainings,
became a student leader in the movement,
and memorized the 4 spiritual laws,
which by this time had been rebranded
into a booklet called
“Would You Like to Know God Personally?”
I went on a summer project in Gatlinburg, TN.
For 10 weeks
I walked up and down the main thoroughfare,
booklets in hand,
and tried to start conversations
with vacationing strangers.
We were trained to start with
the Kennedy Questions:
“If you were to die tonight,
how sure are you that you would go to heaven?”
Now,
as you might imagine,
with that opener,
I never made it to the booklet.
The folks selling timeshares
were more successful than I was.
And so was everyone else in our group.
The following Spring Break
I made my first trip to Perm, Russia.
We entered the country
under the guise
of English as a Second Language teachers.
Our job was to befriend the students,
turn the conversations to spiritual things,
share the 4 spiritual laws,
and bring the conversation to a point of decision.
I never got there.
I did two more summer projects in Daytona Beach,
as well as 2 more spring breaks
and one summer project in Russia.
Not once
did I see someone convert.
Eventually,
I began to sense a call
to what I would now call parish ministry
which led me on a search for a denominational home.
I found the Book of Concord online,
read it,
and began attending an ELCA church.
It took me 10 years to get to seminary
from that point,
but here I am,
an ordained minister
of Word and Sacrament.
And a failed evangelist.
In our gospel lesson,
Jesus has entered a foreign country,
and sat down
by a well
in the desert
at noon.
We will soon find out
that he has no bucket to draw water
and presumably no Nalgene bottle
stashed in the folds of his robe.
So,
when a Samaritan woman come to draw water
he asks her for a drink.
She too
has come to the well
in the desert
at noon.
Jesus has come to Samaria for a reason:
to speak to this woman.
He does not preach.
He works no miracle.
He just asks for a drink.
He shares her thirst.
He speaks to the pain in her life,
without malice,
without judgement.
He assures her that God wants her worship.
He reveals himself to be the Messiah.
Neither of them drinks anything,
and she leaves her water jar
in her haste to tell her people
what has occurred.
Tentative though it is,
her faith is contagious,
and this woman,
who has wrestled with God
by Jacob’s well,
becomes the mother of Samaritan faith.
All those years I spent
evangelizing strangers
I was,
in my own mind,
bringing the answers.
I did not come to hear your need,
I certainly did not come to share your need.
I came to tell you what your need was,
and provide the solution.
I was not trained
to hear how 70 years of communist rule
followed by little more than a decade
under a state church
had produced a mistrust of the followers of Jesus.
Nor was I prepared
to see the futility of proselytizing
an already Christian country.
For me
the Love of God in Christ was propositional,
transactive,
and constrained.
Only those who believed what I believed
had access to this Love.
I understood the mission of Jesus
to be the appeasement
of an angry God.
What I called “the gospel”
was no good news at all.
But Jesus’ mission in Samaria
is Jesus’ mission everywhere:
redemptive solidarity with the human condition.
Jesus could have bypassed Samaria.
Jesus could have brought water with him.
Jesus could have come in the cool of the day.
He could have insisted that she forsake her home,
her people,
and her traditions,
and first become Jewish
before God would accept her worship.
He could have called her to repentance,
he could have shamed her lifestyle,
he could have refused
to speak to her
at all.
Instead,
Jesus came tired
and thirsty
in the heat of the day,
sat beside the well,
and waited for her.
God’s mission of redemptive solidarity,
God’s chosen vulnerability in Jesus
made space for the Samaritan woman
to wrestle with the God of Jacob,
made space for her doubt,
her questions,
her cautious faith.
The Samaritan woman’s faithful testimony
of her encounter with Jesus,
and her honest question about his claim to be the messiah
made space for her people to wrestle alongside her,
and revealed Jesus to be the savior of the world.
Beloved,
I failed at being an evangelist
because the news I had to share
failed to be good.
The good news for us
is this:
In Jesus,
the love of God is not propositional,
but prevenient;
Not transactional,
but transformational;
Not constrained,
but “a fountain of water
springing up to eternal life.”
Our mission
is God’s mission,
chosen vulnerability
in solidarity
with the vulnerable.
We are called
to enter into the needs of our neighbors,
and proclaim the good news
that God in Christ
cares about our needs,
whether in body or in soul,
and we do not bear them alone.
Amen.