By Pastor Ashton Roberts
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January 19, 2025
I was recently reminded of a story, a sort of parable, that I believe originates with AA, though I was not able to verify this. A man was walking down the street and ha ppened to fall into a hole. The hole was deep and the man was wounded from the fall, and there was no way he could climb out by himself. Shortly, a doctor walked by the hole and the man yelled up, “Help! I’ve fallen down this hole, I’m hurt, and I can’t climb out.” The doctor pulls out a pad and pen, writes a prescription, throws it down the hole, and shouts, “Good luck!” as he goes on his way. A short time later, a priest walks by, and the man yells up, “Father, help me! I’ve fallen down this hole, I’m hurt, and I can’t climb out.” The priest has pity on the man, and prays for his healing, offers his absolution, and continues on his way. A short time later, a good friend of this man comes by and notices his friend in this deep hole. Without hesitation, this good friend jumped down in the hole too. The man says, “Are you crazy! Now we are both stuck down here!” The friend says, “Yes, but I’ve been down here before. I know the way out.” I like this story. It reminds me of another quote I heard recently from Brittany Packett Cunningham, who says, “Train yourself toward solidarity and not charity. You are no one’s savior. You are a mutual partner in the pursuit of freedom.” This man in a hole needed help. The doctor’s concern was the man’s health and his response was professional, even if unhelpful. The priest’s concern was the man’s soul and he appealed to God for help, and offered the man God’s forgiveness when the man had fallen in the hole, not jumped, and all the blessed assurance of God’s grace this priest could offer did nothing to change the man’s circumstances; he remained wounded and in a hole. The man’s friend understood the assignment, as the kids say these days. The man’s friend had fallen down this hole before, he had suffered the same woundedness and he knew that neither medicine nor ministry were going to change this man’s circumstances. What this man needed was solidarity. He needed someone who knew what it was like, someone who knew that the doctor’s prescription felt like a Band-aid on a bullet hole. He needed someone who understood that being forgiven for something you cannot control, for circumstances you cannot change, feels more like judgement than absolution. There is a sociological term coined by Abraham Maslow for the law of the instrument, “Maslow’s hammer.” Essentially, Maslow says, if the only tool you have is a hammer, then every problem looks like a nail. The doctor and the priest where just utilizing the only tools they had, and the tools they had were not designed for the problem at hand. The doctor saw a patient, the priest saw a sinner. But the friend saw a friend. The friend had been down there before and knew he needed no special tools. He didn’t need the rescue squad, didn’t call 911, didn’t rush to the hardware store and buy a ladder. He knew the only way his friend was coming out of that hole was with guidance and support. So the friend drew close, close enough to lean on, close enough to share the danger and the burden, as long as it took for the two of them to walk out together. This is solidarity. Said a little more theologically, this is incarnation. In our own context, we don’t have to look far to find folks who are down the proverbial hole. There is often so much more suffering around us that we are able to address with the tools we have. It is understandable that we might take the Maslow’s hammer approach, doing what we can with what we have, and hoping that if it doesn’t fix the problem, that all our hammering might at least make a dent. Or, we take a different approach. Recognizing that we cannot solve the issue, we avoid it, we walk away, turn a blind eye, labeling the circumstances a “tragedy,” absolving ourselves or our self-protective apathy. So, what do we do when we find someone in hole, and we don’t know the way out? This story of the wedding at Cana gives us some insight, I think. Jesus and his mother, and all the disciples, have been invited to a wedding. These ancient near-eastern weddings were essentially a multi-day feast. If you were throwing this party, you wanted your guests to thoroughly enjoy themselves, and it was more than a social gaffe to run out of wine before the whole thing was said and done. Jesus’ mother seems to be the first to notice. “Do something,” she says to Jesus. “This is not our problem,” says Jesus. Mary turns to the waiter and says, “Do whatever he tells you.” Mary saw that the hosts of this wedding were in a hole. They were running out of wine and out time before this was noticed. Mary knew that she didn’t have the tools to solve the problem, and she didn’t know the way out of this hole. But she knew the one who did. Mary didn’t try to be the savior herself, but she directed them to the savior and the savior to them. Mary practiced solidarity with the wedding hosts, drawing close enough to know the problem, standing and calling attention to the problem, knowing she was not the savior, but knowing that the savior would know the way out. We are not the savior. We are Mary. Our calling is not to be the savior, but to bare this savior into the world, to stand in solidarity with the suffering of the world, to call the savior’s attention to this suffering, saying, “Do something!” and the attention of the suffering to the savior, saying, “Do whatever he says.” And that is where the miracle happens, in the following together. In the following together, we find that we have more tools at our disposal than a bludgeoning hammer. In the following together, we find that the tragedies of the world do not absolve us from standing in solidarity even when all we can do is share in the ache. In the following together, doctors and priests and professionals have a role to play alongside friends and strangers. In the following together, we not only find the way out, but we can begin to fill in these holes so our neighbors don’t fall down there in the first place. We are not the savior. We cannot solve many of the problems of the world. We cannot save the world. We cannot rescue everyone from every inescapable circumstance. But we can learn their names. We can know their stories. We can grow close enough to feel their hurts and hopelessness, to hear their stomachs growl, to dress their wounds, to wipe their tears as we shed our own. And we can call the attention of the savior to this suffering. We can call the attention of the suffering to the savior. And we can follow the savior out of this hole together. Amen.