When I was growing up
there was a phrase I often heard
that made me swear
if I ever became a parent
I’d never say:
“because I said so.”
I hated that phrase.
It meant nothing to me.
It answered no questions,
inspired no confidence.
and made me distrust that there was a good reason
beyond blind obedience to authority.
However,
as a parent,
especially in those toddler years,
when my son’s favorite question was “why?”
I often felt it on the tip of my frustrated tongue.
So I took a sort of
middle-of-the-road approach
and began to tell Zion,
“you don’t need to have a reason
to obey me.”
And while we are far from the perfect parents
we have found one effective strategy.
As he got older,
we began to turn the question back on him.
When he would ask why he had to follow some rule
we would ask,
“Why do we have rules in our family?
And he would answer,
with a deep sigh
and rolling eyes,
“Because you love me
and want to keep me safe.”
That was it.
He needed boundaries
even if he couldn’t understand all the reasons why,
and we wanted him to
trust that those boundaries existed
so he would know
that we loved him
and wanted to keep him safe.
This week in our gospel
Jesus tells his disciples
that if they love him,
they will keep his commandments.
He reiterates this,
saying again
that those who have his commandments
and keep them
are the ones who love him.
According to Jesus,
love and obedience
are inseparable.
Meaning,
we cannot claim to love Jesus
if we do not obey him.
But there are a lot of commandments.
The pages of the Hebrew Scriptures
are filled with rules,
laws,
commandments,
and expectations,
the sum of which
feels overwhelming,
especially when our obedience to God
is tied
to our love of God.
Yet, if we look back
just one chapter before today’s gospel
Jesus says:
“A new command I give to you.
Love one another.
As I have loved you,
so you must also love one another.
By this everyone will know
that you are my disciples,
if you love one another.”
Interestingly,
this commandment
given on Maundy Thursday,
is the only recorded commandment
in the Gospel of John.
Everything a disciple does
will be judged by this single metric.
Prayer,
evangelism,
repentance,
generosity;
asking and seeking,
alms-giving and truth-telling,
honoring,
serving,
feeding,
and sharing…
all of it,
in the end,
comes down to love.
The essential question
is this:
Do we love one another
as Jesus has loved us?
The painful reality
is how badly we’ve botched it
since the day it was given.
New Testament scholar D.A Carson
names this when he writes:
“This new command is simple enough
for a toddler to memorize and appreciate,
and yet it is profound enough
that the most mature believers
are repeatedly embarrassed
at how poorly they comprehend it
and put it into practice.”
I think he is right.
I think we have heard Jesus’ command,
and like a defiant toddler,
we have looked for every excuse we could find
to avoid keeping this rule.
We needed good reasons to obey.
We needed our poor neighbors
our hungry neighbors,
or homeless neighbors
our hungry, thirsty, naked neighbors
to work a little harder,
to be a little more worthy,
before we could obey this command
and love them.
Obedience makes us humble
and love makes us vulnerable,
and we’d rather not be humble and vulnerable.
Obedience and love require trust,
and we’re naturally suspicious.
Obedience and love require us to put aside
our own agendas
and center the interests of others.
Jesus’ command to love is hard to keep.
It feels like we are being commanded
to feel some intense emotion
toward people we have never met,
don’t like,
and who don’t like us.
But Jesus didn’t say, “This is my suggestion.”
He said, “This is my commandment.”
It is not an option.
There is no room to negotiate.
Jesus is commanding us
to love other people.
Jesus is commanding us
to be humble and vulnerable enough
to obey him,
and this obedience
requires that we be humble and vulnerable
to other people!!
We don’t like to think about love
as responsibility,
as humility,
as deference or commitment.
No,
we fall in love.
We are swept off our feet.
We are head-over-heels,
over the moon,
struck by Cupid’s arrow.
Love is a passion,
a sentiment,
a feeling.
We tend to think of love
in terms of how another person makes us feel,
and our response to that feeling.
We want the other person
to be worthy of our love,
to inspire us to act out our love.
None of us would feel very loved
by coerced affection,
obligatory service,
or a rote repetition of sentiment.
And Jesus doesn’t stop at saying,
“Act as if you love.”
He doesn’t give his disciples – then or now -
the easy “out” of doing nice things
with deep sighs and rolling eyes.
No Jesus says, “Love one another as I have loved you.”
Said another way,
Jesus commands us to learn how to love
by loving.
You don’t need a better reason to obey
than to know that Jesus loves us
and is showing us how to love each other.
We don’t have to feel first and then act,
and we aren’t given the wiggle room
to wait for others to make us feel like loving them first.
Jesus shows us that love looks like
the humility and vulnerability
we call obedience.
Jesus commands us to love each other,
not with Valentines and butterflies,
but with humility and vulnerability,
with solidarity and devotion.
Jesus says to love
like has he has loved.
And I don’t think Jesus’ love
is a feeling.
Jesus’ love for us
looks like giving his body and blood,
giving his very self.
It is in Jesus that we see the face of God,
a God who is love.
It is in Jesus that we live and move
and have our very being.
This Jesus is all there is.
The command to love
as Jesus loved us
is the invitation to follow Jesus
into the heart of God
until we are transformed into this love
and love is all there is.
This love looks like
the humility and vulnerability
at the center of the life of God.
We don’t have to understand
the command
to obey it.
And neither are we commanded to obey
simply because God said so.
We are given the Holy Spirit
that we might begin to walk the path
in love and safety
until we come to understand God’s love in Christ
and are transformed by it.
Loving God
and loving each other
is a practice
born of the humility and vulnerability
that begins in obedience,
not because Jesus says so,
but because Jesus loves us
and because of his love
we know how to love.
These are not two separate actions.
They are one and the same.
We love because we are loved.
We obey Christ because we are in Christ.
The love we are commanded to share
is the love we are endlessly given.
“You in me, and I in you.”
The definition of love.
Amen.