There are many aspects
of the work of a pastor
that prompt folks to ask me,
“How do you do that?”
One of those is preaching.
Some people would rather lose a limb
than to stand in front of a room full of people,
let alone talk to them for 15 minutes.
Another is listening with genuine interest
and concern
to prolonged narratives
of medical procedures
in gruesome and intimate detail.
And if you think the narratives are bad,
sometimes folks accompany the stories
with show and tell!
Working as a chaplain,
one gentleman in the trauma recovery unit
described having fallen while cutting tree limbs
and straddling a branch below on his way to the ground,
whereupon he exposed himself to me
to show me the damage.
In his defense,
he was on quite a lot of pain meds.
I, however,
was stone-cold sober.
I’ll never un-see that.
But by and large,
the aspect of the work of a pastor
which elicits the greatest recoil,
is certainly a pastor’s proximity
to death.
Pastors see a lot of death;
Accompanying families through prolonged illnesses
where death arrives all too late;
Sitting in the wake of tragedy
when death has arrived without warning;
Holding the hand of the bereaved,
when death has come and gone
but still haunts the home
with lingering scents,
empty chairs,
and aching hearts.
Death is always heavy,
like moving a mattress;
you can’t lift it on your own,
and you shouldn’t try.
Its weight is awkward,
asking for the help you need
feels like an imposition,
and sometimes it is just easier
to call in a professional.
That is often where a pastor comes in.
We are here to help you move your emotional mattress.
But in addition to caring for grieving loved-ones,
pastors care for the dying.
And much of the time,
this looks like speaking again
the promises God makes in baptism,
tracing again the sign of the cross,
applying again the oil of anointing,
and against every human instinct,
encouraging them to give into dying.
To give up the fight,
to stop the struggle,
to allow the body to stop
and the spirit to “shuffle off this mortal coil.”
I cannot say that this proximity to death
is my favorite part of the job,
but it is the greatest privilege
and my profound honor
to be invited into such holy spaces,
where the vail has become so transparent
that I might be able to prepare the very body of Christ
for his burial.
In our Gospel lesson today,
Jesus tells of his own death.
And if this were not jarring enough
to his disciples,
he tells them that if anyone wants to be his disciple
that one must take up their cross and follow him.
It’s no wonder Peter takes him aside.
We don’t get to hear their conversation,
but a ‘rebuke’ is no ‘friendly reminder.’
Maybe Peter told him “You can’t talk like that, Jesus!
You have to stay positive! We are manifesting victory!”
Maybe Peter patted his concealed sword,
and said, “We won’t let that happen to you, Jesus. They want you, they’ll have to go through me first.”
Maybe Peter said, “The Messiah will sit on the throne of David, not hang on a Roman cross.”
But Jesus rebuked Peter in return.
Jesus will die,
and asks the disciples to join him.
And all these years later,
there is no new path of discipleship.
If we want to be Jesus’ disciples,
we will have to take up our cross
and follow him.
For the first audience of the Gospel of Mark,
this could easily have meant a literal death,
since following Jesus could have gotten you killed.
But for most of the followers of Jesus
in our own time,
this will mean the crucifixion
of our egos.
That is,
we will have to die to our own needs,
our own desires,
our own dignity,
and we will have to adopt as our own
the needs, desires, and dignity of our neighbors.
This crucifixion of our egos
means we are no longer beholden
to what our neighbors are able to do for us.
Instead, we can ask what our neighbors need,
and in the absence of our ego
we are able to become what and who
our neighbors need us to be.
This is standing in solidarity with our neighbors
to whom we have become a neighbor.
We will have welcomed the other,
we will have sacrificed our egos,
and we have become our neighbors.
When Jesus told of his own death
he also told of his own resurrection.
The death of our egos
leads us to resurrection,
to transformation,
to salvation.
The world needs transformed disciples
to transform the world.
By crucifying our egos
and raising us as neighbors
God is transforming us into the Love God is
that we might sustain the weary with a word,
that we might hold our tongues from judgement
and ceaselessly wag our tongues for justice and peace;
that we might fill our mouths with prayer
and guide the whole body,
the whole weary world,
to salvation.
Dr. Atul Gawande
is a palliative care physician
and author.
As folks are drawing near to death,
and decisions must be made
about what sort of measures will be undertaken
to prevent death,
Dr. Gawande asks two fundamental questions:
What makes life worth living?
What are you willing to give up
in order to keep living?
One patient responded
that as long as he could eat chocolate ice cream
and watch football he wanted to be kept alive.
As we draw near to the death of our egos,
maybe we could reframe these questions.
What makes our faith worth keeping?
And what are you willing to give up
in order to keep the faith?
As a congregation,
can we die to the memory of who we used to be?
Can we die to having 400 members
and two services?
Can we die to a bustling children’s ministry?
Can we die to who we think we need to be
so that we can be resurrected
as the congregation that our neighbors need us to be?
And if all of this feels too hard,
too much to ask,
too high a price,
then let me speak again
the promises God makes in baptism.
Let me trace again the sign of the cross,
apply again the oil of anointing,
and against every human instinct,
I encourage you to give into dying.
There is no new path to discipleship.
We can rebuke Jesus
in any way we choose.
We can make every effort to avoid this death.
But those who want to save their lives
will lose them.
And those who let go of their lives,
those who crucify their egos,
those who know what they are willing to sacrifice
in order to keep the faith,
those are the ones who take up their crosses
and follow Jesus;
these are the ones who will forfeit the whole world
to gain their life.
These are disciples.
Amen.